Murphy’s Law of Startups

Whatever can go wrong, is where it gets interesting

Photo by Tim Gouw on Unsplash

With all of the recent pain in the startup market, it helps to keep things light, and keep moving forward when times get tough. In the 1970s the publication of Arthur Bloch’s book Murphy’s Law, and Other Reasons Why Things Go WRONG highlighted a world where life meets reality in a humorous and witty way. We’ve applied this below, with the help of ChatGPT applied to venture capital, startups, and everything in between. #MurphysLawOfStartups

1. Law of VC Punctuality: The chance of a VC being fashionably late is directly proportional to the level of anxiety you’ve built up waiting for the meeting.
2. Law of Pitch Deception: The more you nod during a VC’s pitch, the less you actually understand about what they just said.
3. Law of VC Responses: The time it takes for a VC to reply is inversely proportional to the length of your carefully crafted email.
4. Law of Sudden Insights: The most brilliant startup idea will come to you while daydreaming about your next vacation, not during a brainstorming session.
5. Law of Funding Chemistry: The perfect match with a VC will occur the day after you’ve binged on a garlic-laden lunch.
6. Law of Fashion Faux Pas: The importance of a well-tailored suit is inversely proportional to the number of hoodies in your startup’s office.
7. Law of High-Stakes Poker: Negotiating with VCs is akin to a poker game, where someone forgot to tell you the rules, and the stakes are your startup.
8. Law of Demanding Silence: The probability of your stomach growling during a crucial investor pitch is directly proportional to how silent the room is.
9. Law of VC Psychic Abilities: VCs will predict the exact moment your startup becomes a unicorn just after they’ve declined to invest.
10. Law of Buzzword Bingo: The success of a pitch is inversely proportional to the number of times you say ‘disruptive innovation’ and ‘synergy’ in the same sentence.
11. Law of Elevator Pitches: The effectiveness of an elevator pitch is inversely proportional to the number of floors the elevator actually moves.
12. Law of Office Whiteboards: The importance of the notes on a whiteboard is directly proportional to how illegible they become over time.
13. Law of Post-Meeting To-Do Lists: The length of the to-do list after a startup meeting is directly proportional to the length of the meeting. Bonus: half of the to-dos will be forgotten.
14. Law of Startup T-Shirts: The probability of wearing a startup’s branded t-shirt is inversely proportional to how long it has been since you did any work for that startup.
15. Law of Shared Coworking Spaces: The volume of heated discussions in a coworking space is inversely proportional to the success of the startups housed there.
16. Law of Startup Clocks: The speed at which a startup perceives time is directly proportional to the proximity of a funding deadline.
17. Law of Open-Office Collaboration: The chance of a meaningful work-related conversation is inversely proportional to the proximity of an adjacent ping pong game.
18. Law of Startup ‘Stealth Mode’: The secrecy of a startup’s ‘stealth mode’ is directly proportional to the number of people the founder has excitedly told about the idea.
19. Law of Post-Launch Celebrations: The enthusiasm of a post-launch celebration is inversely proportional to the number of bug reports received within the first hour.
20. Law of Meeting Agendas: The probability of sticking to the meeting agenda is inversely proportional to the number of engineers in the room.

Copyright 2023, All rights reserved, by Zecca Lehn via @posi2ive. No advice given here (e.g., financial / legal / business / other). All views expressed represent those of the author personally at the time of writing, and not those of any external business entity nor organization.